'The End of the Road\r'

'â€Å"Hell, And How I Got present(predicate)” by Br residuea Medina and â€Å"Puzzle Pieces” by Barbara Parsons bridle-path be two short stories from the book Couldn’t keep an eye on It To Myself by W all(prenominal)y Lamb. Medina and Lane atomic number 18 two women who are serving time in a maximal security prison. Brenda Lane is serving time for homicide and Barbara Parsons Lane is serving time for manslaughter. Brenda was involved in a camp-related killing while Barbara was convicted of killing her abusive husband. from each unitary of these women lived their lives existence subjected to abuse, yet each woman represent themselves differently.Brenda was decided to impinge on power and not regain similar an prohibitedsider in her own animation. She was determined to take control and she was longer going a focussing to be the â€Å" unrivaled lady friend out” (148). Barbara was living vitality as a victim and saw single unmatched way to end the abuse. She was victimized in a way that do her feel as if she had no way of escaping her nightmare. Brenda found ways to endue herself in hunting lodge to find a betoken in the world as Barbara was belittled to the peak where she entangle she was too weak to be fit to walk away . In â€Å"Hell, And How I Got Here,” Brenda went through with(predicate) life finding ways to gain power.Brenda entangle deal an outsider for much of her childhood. She spent some unhappy course of studys at a closed-door discipline, feeling that she didn’t belong. It was not until her high school years, that she finally tangle liberated. It was at this time of her life when Brenda started trying to find ways to empower herself and gain the status she was dreaming of. During high school, Brenda started dating Manny, a portion of a local gang, The Unidad. Brenda recalled that from the suppurate of xiv until she went to prison at the age of seventeen, â€Å"Manny ra n through my veins” (152).Even though her take disapproved of Manny, Brenda dated Manny, the boy with the â€Å"outlaw aura. ” dismission against her start out’s wishes make Brenda feel effectual. She was going to run her own life from now on. As a child, Barbara was a lost little girl, beneficial exchangeable Brenda. Her life was full of disappointments. At the age of four, Barbara was molested by a man she trusted, her grandfather. Looking for reinforcement and comfort, Barbara was finally able to find the strength to charge in her m another(prenominal) about what her grandfather had do to her.Instead of comfort, Barbara was told by her mother to never mention the harassment to any nonpareil. â€Å"Don’t you ever say a word” (218). So she didn’t. Barbara became a quiet provided a very angry little girl. Barbara’s mother was later(prenominal) diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and later hospitalized. Barbara was leftov er to tend to the house she unagitated shared out with her alcoholic father and her two siblings. She had no ace to go to and no one to talk to. Barbara resented her mother’s illness. She said the â€Å"illness had freed her brother and baby and made me a slave” (220).Barbara was the one left after her brother and sister moved out. many a(prenominal) years later, Barbara’s mother committed suicide. age dealing with her mother’s death, Barbara confided in her auntie Ruth about her grandfather molesting her at a young age. Aunt Ruth told Barbara was molested by the aforementioned(prenominal) man, her father. Barbara did not understand why her mother besides stood and watched while Barbara walked away, hand in hand, with the man she knew all too well. Two years in the lead her mother took her own life, Barbara got married for the second time. She married a younger man named Mark.The disease she resented earlier in life was about to resurface and, on ce again, devote her feel trapped. During their kind, Manny grew to become controlling and abusive towards Brenda. He began to dictate the people she was allowed to see and what she could wear. Screaming at her after he ripped the skirt off of her, Manny yelled, â€Å"No girl of mine’s gonna strut herself like a little slut! ” (161) Manny also became physically and started cheating on Brenda as well. Anytime Brenda threatened to demolish up with Manny, he begged and cried for her to stay.Brenda incessantly stayed and she always forgave him. She love to hear Manny tell her how much her loved and that he altogether wanted him for herself. Brenda loved the feeling she had by hearing Manny beg for to stay. She snarl powerful. Feeling anything notwithstanding powerful, Barbara was beginning to live a life of cosmos controlled by an abusive husband. Mark became abusive emotionally and physically towards Barbara. The things he said to her were intend to take her feel insignificant and make her feel that she had no choice but to stay. â€Å"Some days he drinks from noon until late at night.If I take exception him or question him, I’m told I’m an ‘inconvenience’â€his code for: watch out” (225). Being told she was an inconvenience by her husband happened on a regular basis. Mark was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, well(p) like her mother. He drank alcohol in ordinance to medicate himself and began having an affair with a fifteen year old girl. Mark openly talked about it to Barbara, adding to her feelings of inadequacy. She ended up having to quit her job because of the abuse and the flightiness of her home life.Barbara was once again feeling imprisoned, solely as she did as a hild. Brenda’s relationship with Manny was everything she was looking for. She had found her place in the world. However, Brenda was still feeling left out when it came to Manny, the gang, and their secrets. Brenda had never vox populi about joining a gang until she talked a â€Å"sister” of the gang. Erika persuaded Brenda to join because of the feeling of â€Å"family” the Unidad gave Erika. Brenda liked the belief and also knew she would no longer feel like an outsider. Brenda longed for the feeling of belonging and knew that her being a portion of the gang would bring her and Manny closer.There would no longer be secrets between them. Barbara was living the life in which she was subjected to communicative and physical abuse from her husband. She had to listen to him talk about the affair he was having, being completely lowly by it. Barbara even contemplated suicide at one point. Barbara lived her life feeling as if thither was no way out. Mark’s belittling linguistic process were etched in her mind. Those words had the power of reservation Barbara believe she was destined to stay. If she chose to leave, he would kill her. Barbara felt as if she did not stool any op tions at all.She felt completely powerless. Brenda was feeling anything but powerless. Manny, being a member of a gang, had power. Brenda felt that by being his girlfriend gave her power. Despite the fact that Manny was abusive, Brenda felt empowered knowing that she had found her place in this world with Manny. She believed that without her boyfriend, she would not have a place. The one thing Brenda always wanted was to belong. She longer felt like an outsider when she was with Manny. At the beginning of their relationship, Manny told her â€Å"I’m safe with you.And you are safe here” (156). That was precisely what Brenda was looking for. She was no longer the â€Å"odd girl out” (148). She was Manny’s girl. She was a member of the Unidad. She had power. What Brenda decided to do with the power she had obtained with the joining gang would be a life changing decision. The solo way Barbara had the power to remove herself from the abuse was to file away f or divorce. Taking the step to file was a extensive and terrifying decision for Barbara to make. It was so worrisome in fact that she assay to stop the process.After Mark was served the papers, he took Barbara to a secluded cabin in the woods, make sure she was fully aware that he had brought guns on on the trip. The trip that Mark planned had one purpose: he wanted to remind Barbara that her only option was to remain a devoted wife. If she tried leaving him, he would â€Å"terminate” her. Mark made it clear many times how easy it would be for him to do. During the trip to the cabin, after Barbara asked him if he went to cabin unsloped to target shoot, Mark replied with, â€Å"No, I came all this way to show you how easy it would be to make you fell” (230).Barbara knew divorce was out of the question. He would kill her before he granted her one. Although the trip put a divorce out of the question, it made Barbara realize there was only one option left. In order f or her to free herself and to escape the trap of an abusive marriage, she would have to kill Mark before he killed her. Brenda and Barbara were both(prenominal) victims of abuse. That is where the similarities end. All Brenda wanted was to become someone other than the â€Å"outsider. ” She was ab utilize by her gang member boyfriend. She used that to threaten her boyfriend of leaving him.Brenda felt powerful when would hear Manny beg for her to stay. She finally felt like she was somebody. She was no longer an outsider of the â€Å"odd girl out” (148). Barbara was abused and belittled to the point where it made her retrieve of herself as a weakling. She felt it was infeasible to free herself from her nightmare. Brenda tried to escape but she always backed down because of how her husband made her think she was weak. Feeling empowered and feeling victimized are at the opposite end of the spectrum, yet they sometimes end up meeting at the end of the same road.\r\n'